With Superbowl right around the corner, count on the cops being right around every corner, waiting to snag the hapless soul who might weave or turn without signaling [things cops do all the time] to try to make him into a drunk driver, one of the most profitable offenses for government in our criminal "justice" system. If you are snagged, think on these things:
1.
Do
not flunk the attitude test; be civil and polite, because
being otherwise will never help you, and it will generally always hurt you in
the eyes of the jury and judge. Remember
that much of what goes on in the criminal justice system, from cop contact to
DA prosecution to judge scolding/punishing, is part of a grand power game, and
you are the pawn. Do not allow yourself to become excessively victimized by reacting
to any of their pathologies, because then they will have won.
2.
Do
NOT ever say that you have had any alcoholic beverage to drink, nor when, nor
where, nor how much.
Indeed, do not talk to the police
at all, other than to give your name: any statement, before or after an
arrest, will be taken down, possibly twisted, and always used against you. It NEVER, EVER HELPS to talk to the police in
such circumstances, NEVER. They are not
there to help you; they are there to put a case together against you. There are powerful grant money and penalty
assessment incentives for government to press DUI through arrest to conviction;
there is no similar incentive for the cops to be good or helpful to you. And this is not a Miranda-based cautionary note, because Miranda applies only when you are in custody and then only when
they are interrogating you. The rule
about not talking to the police about anything applies at all times, before and
after custody, and whether or not you are being interrogated. Keep your mouth closed [except to blow into
the breath device].
3.
Do
NOT agree to take any field sobriety test, no matter if
you have been drinking or not, and your explanation for declining to do such is
that you have been advised [because I am doing so right now] that there is no
established correlation between the performance on any such test and impairment
by alcohol. [You should give some such reason to preempt a later claim that you
refused because you sensed you were guilty.
You are, instead, politely declining because you know it is a stacked
deck in which the police want to give the false impression that you could not
perform things because you are drunk.]
If a cop has decided to administer an FST, he has decided he is going to
arrest you no matter what, so do not give them extra ammunition by attempting
to perform that which can never be.
4.
Do
NOT agree to take the pre-arrest breath test [preliminary
alcohol screening device, or PAS], unless you are under 21 or on probation for
drunk driving, whether or not you have been drinking. Your explanation for refusing this test is
that you have been informed [because I am doing so right now] that they are
inaccurate and can be tampered with in the field to give false high readings,
and if you are still absorbing alcohol [which for some people can be anywhere
between 20 minutes and 6 hours after drinking stops], they always give false
high readings any way..
5.
If
you are arrested for drunk driving, you will be given a
choice of blood or breath test. Choose the breath test. You do not have an “absolute right” to a
choice [any attorney who says you have “absolute” rights to anything generally
does not know what he or she is talking about and should be avoided at all
costs], but you have a statutory right to a choice under most circumstances,
and there are things that can be done if you are not given that right. If you choose the breath test, they are
supposed to tell you that you have a right to a back-up test of blood or urine
for retesting. They generally only tell
you that you have a right to back-up test of blood, if they tell you any such thing. Tell them you want a back-up test of
urine. The cops will generally lie to
you and tell you that you do not have such a right. Lies by cops don’t bother judges, but they
often bother the more concerned jurors.
6.
After
you submit to whatever test you have chosen [always breath],
then be quiet until they release
you. Never, ever talk to the cops, never
try to explain, never try to get them to help you, never ask for a break, because
your pleas just embolden cops to harass you more. It is a power game. They are not going to help you, so just be
quiet.
7.
After you get out of custody, make sure
you call the DMV number on the pink form
you have been given within 10 days of the arrest and tell them you want a
hearing, or you will lose your chance for a hearing with the DMV. If you are hiring an attorney within 10 days,
he will make that call for you.
8.
And you should always hire an attorney for these sorts of things. If you needed brain surgery, you would not
start drilling on your own skull, but would instead hire an expert, and DUI is
no different. A properly experienced DUI
attorney can do more about these sorts of charges than you can imagine, because
DUIs are prosecuted based on a presumption that they will not be fought, and based
on a hope that jurors will be part of the neo-prohibitionism regime which has
promoted the “Salem Witch Trials” public and fiction-based hysteria about DUI,
and based on junk/voodoo science that would not be admissible in any other sort
of criminal case, and which can accordingly be attacked, if you have an
attorney who knows what he is doing and who has brought on a forensic expert
who knows what he is doing. “If you think hiring a professional is expensive,
wait until you hire an amateur.” Red Adair
9.
Do
not drive under the influence of alcohol, but do not fall for
the propaganda of “no drinking and driving,” because it is not illegal to drive
after you have been drinking. Don’t heed
or fear the exhortation of “Call 911 if you see a drunk driver,” because you
cannot see a drunk driver. The system
wants to turn the populace into government-loving stoolies against each other,
as was the practice in the ‘30s Germany, finger-pointing/phone-dialing at every
vehicular weave. I weave all over the
road and don’t drink alcohol. Don’t
become a stoolie – that is the lowest of the low. Friends don't let friends drive drunk [if they really are]; friends also don't let friends plead guilty.
